Thursday, August 16, 2012


Being that it's not yet the start of the school year, I figured I'd continue posting some personal things, prior to blogging about teacher-related things. This post is going to depict the recent developments that have come about recently. The first, which will lead to the others, is my weight loss. I believe my weight topped an all-time high of 150 lbs. about a year ago. Why, you ask? Something I like to call “happy fat.” I was at a point in my life where I had not a care in the world about what I looked like, but was primarily concerned with keeping my spirits high as often as I could, and food was what I looked forward to. I had just moved to Binghamton, NY to pursue my Masters in Special Education, and I was sad being away from home and my family, so I had to find things to look forward to during the day to fill the void. Clearly, I turned to food. Prior to moving, I never cooked, and anything that I tried to make was seemingly inedible. Gross, yeah! I had two recipes under my belt, which I would repeat from time to time, but let’s be honest here, one will get sick of the repetition of two items after some time. So, I experimented and found that as long as I follow a recipe to a T, I actually CAN cook, and am not so terrible at it after all. I made things, and enjoyed eating them, as well as making things for others and watching them enjoy it too. I also loved pizza and dining out, a little too much. I did not care what I atedidn’t feel guilty in the least for indulging every long as I was happy. What I realized, though, was that I wasn’t. In the back of my mind, I knew that I was gaining weight, and it just didn’t look good. I’m 5’2so, needless to say150 lbs did not look great on me. I have a small frame but am curvy, so I was able to hide it a little, but it was easy to see that the weight just didn’t sit right on me, I am built to be smaller.

So, that brings me to todayafter finishing my Masters, I moved back home, and landed a job shortly after in Maryland. Again, attempting to fill the void by having little things to look forward to like good eats on a daily basis, the weight situation did not change. It wasn’t until I joined a local dance team, and became slightly more comfortable with my current living situation, that I was able to take control. With the help of many, I began my weight loss journeywhich is very difficult (and extremely trying at times). To date, I’ve lost about 40 lbs. I began by exploring Skinnytaste, and being that I desperately wanted to continue my cooking journey, I figured what better way to do so than to explore a healthy eating cooking blog! It was is wonderful! I continue to cook from her blog on a daily basis. It’s honestly how I incorporate nutrition into my diet. Her meals are extremely well-rounded, taste great, and you would honestly never know that they were healthy! I still feel like I’m indulging, sans the guilt! It’s spectacular!

One thing I had to learn the hard way was that dieting and eating right would not make me lose weight by itself, and that I actually needed to couple it with exercise. I hate hated exercising. I told myself, as long as I keep dance up twice a week, that could work as my exercise, that would be good enough. Mm, not so much. I was losing weight, but not as quickly or as easily as I should’ve/could’ve been. So, I joined a gym (Gold’s gymbecause even though it was more expensive, they had classes, and it would most likely get my butt to the gym more-so than being disciplined enough to get myself there on my own and sustain a workout on the machines for an hour.) To date, I have not yet taken 1 class, and have actually ONLY done the machines and weightsyes, this makes me proud! I never thought I’d be able to do something like this! I now go to the gym 6 days a week, following a body building blog (no, my goal is not to be a body builder, ha) for proper fitness regimens and weight usage, which I adapt to fit my needs. I eat “clean” and healthy, but it has been extremely hard. Not because I am not disciplined enough, I am, more than I ever thought I would/could be. It’s hard because of what others say. There’s a line in one of Kelly Clarkson’s songs that goes something like this (because she has struggled with her weight too, as I’m sure all of you know), “If you’re thin, poor little walking disease- if you’re not, they’re all screaming ‘obese’.” I have found that quote to be true, now, more than ever. I know people are genuinely worried about me because, no, they’ve never seen me at this weightbut what they don’t understand is that I’m HEALTHY! I might not eat what they think I shouldburgers, macaroni and cheese, pizza, chicken wings, loaded fries (etc.)which yesI used to eat on a daily basis beforebut I’m healthy, and my diet reflects that. I’m strict, extremely strict, but I don’t restrict myself unbearably. I have fully recognized that my diet is not a diet, it’s actually a lifestyle change, which is something someone said to me long ago, when I asked them for their weight loss secret. It’s something that has resonated in my mind since. I’ve always said to myself, I’m young, it’ll be so much easier to lose the weight now, and then easier to maintain when I’m older if I just could get it off now. I’m in my prime, and why not look good while I’m in it?! Well, I finally decided to do something about it. I’m happy, but my friends aren’t. They are worried, and constantly making comments about my not eating (crap food). I eat! I love to eat! Heck, I look forward to my meals, and with the help of Skinnytaste, I can enjoy most of the foods that I used to, without the guilt!

My next journey is to figure out how to maintain my eating healthy while making my friends happy. I’m the type of person that tries to make everyone happy, because if they’re happy, I’m happy. I tend to put my happiness by the wayside, and focus primarily on theirs, which is making this journey extremely trying and difficult, because this is something I just don’t want to waver on, even though I know it will make them happy. For once, I’m focusing on myself, and my ultimate happiness. It’s a struggle, and I’m sure it will continue to be for quite some time. Thankfully, I have my parents’ unwavering support. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have them cheering me on, standing beside me, supporting me, and even joining me in my weight loss journey. So, cheers to weight loss, and to happinessmy happiness, ha!

Here's a picture taken while I was at Binghamton almost 2 years ago (left) and one taken this June (right).

I'll be taking another updated picture soon, because since following that body building blog, I've actually gained a teensy bit of muscle, too! Yippee!

That's all for now! Thanks for reading!


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